


Radio Alone

by InkFire_Scribe



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Canon Non-Binary Character, Five has no idea how to make friends, Multi, PTSD, Social Anxiety, Trauma, Zombie Apocalypse, it just happens sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25212328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkFire_Scribe/pseuds/InkFire_Scribe
Summary: Based off a post on Tumblr by the wonderful iamrunner5, describing Runner Five's relationship with the Radio Cable crew. Since I'm weak, I went ahead and wrote this, filling in some narrative for how Five dealt with meeting and getting to know Jack, Eugene, Phil, and Zoe.
Relationships: Jack Holden/Eugene Woods
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	1. Act 1 - Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [muddy_puddles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/muddy_puddles/gifts).



The cafeteria was loud. Not very loud, maybe, but it was loud enough to make things a little hard for one new, mute runner. They stood at the door and looked around at the big room, trying to figure out which table wasn't occupied by loud voices, waving arms, happy laughs, and other things that didn't belong to them. Yes. There. In the back corner, near the window. It used to be that the seats by the window were the most desirable. Everyone wanted to sit by the window. 

Not so anymore, now they'd all seen grey faces and decaying hands pressed against the glass, the window bowing inward under the pressure of the undead tide. No. That wasn't something anyone wanted to experience again. Nevermind that there was a perfectly good fence around Abel, guards with guns on patrol and sturdy gates keeping out the hordes. Everything was different here, but it was very hard to remember that. 

Especially when you're alone. 

Five sat down with a sigh and looked down at the bowl of tinned soup, the rough, slightly overcooked bread, and the half an apple on the side. As a runner, they were supposed to get extra rations, but at the same time, they felt guilty about taking food away from people who actually lived here. The people who actually belonged here.

Just as Five picked up the spoon to start eating, someone thumped down onto the bench beside them. Surprised, Five looked around at their unexpected lunch buddy and saw one of the gate guards. She'd had a gun on her shoulder the last several times Five had seen her, but she'd also been on duty. Seeing her without it was a bit unsettling, if only because things like equipment and clothing were most of how Five was able to recognize folk. Except for Sam. And Eugene. Sam had The Voice that they would never ever forget, and Eugene was missing a leg. Pretty easy to identify, even at a distance. 

This guard, though... she had the sort of hungry look that didn't usually have anything to do with food, and as much as Five appreciated being admired, that wasn't the sort of look they wanted directed at them. 

"So, you're the newbie? What's that like then, being the new girl in the apocalypse?" 

_ New girl. _

It was like getting stabbed, only... maybe more diffuse. The pain was everywhere inside. It hurt in ways no one ever really understood. Five looked away, jaw clenched. Starting a public brawl wouldn't help anything. 

"No need to get all uptight. I'm just being friendly." The guard's hand came to rest on the runner's shoulder and Five didn't think twice - didn't even think once - before jerking away. 

Nope nope nope NOPE. 

Grabbing their lunch tray, Five stood up, heart pounding. 

"Hey, I didn't-" The guard stood up, and Five didn't need to look at her to know she was scowling. There was that angry, scowly note in her voice, and that was enough. The hand again, grabbing at their arm. The lunch tray clattered back to the table, splashing soup everywhere. The guard yelped and released them, and Five was off, sprinting for the entrance. Outside into the sun, on past the kitchen, around the corner into the quad, through the open door into the runner's dorm. 

Trembling, Five yanked their headset on and hit the button, hearing static at first but then... yes. Jack and Eugene. Maybe not the most soothing voices, but certainly better than being alone. Five squeezed their eyes shut, breathing deep and determined to wait it out. 

Jack was telling a story about some past-date marshmallow snacks, which sounded disgusting, but the story was funny. Eugene was laughing his head off and teasing his boyfriend about something stupid - his taste in guys, maybe? It was harmless fun. Listening to them... it was almost like having friends. Five could pretend they were sitting in the corner and watching their friends enjoy themselves. Sharing a pot of cocoa or a plate of biscuits. 

Slowly, the frantic pounding of their heart sounded less like a five-year-old on bongos. Their hands stopped shaking. The headset pressing against their ear started to ache a little. Five cautiously sat up. Things were a little better. It would be sad when they had to leave. Radio Abel was the best thing that'd happened since Day 0. Probably before that, too. 

Maybe if they asked nice, they could get a recording to take with them when they left.


	2. Act 2 - Not Alone

They could still hear it. Feel it. The groan of a zombie on their heels, the spit and decay spattering against their back and shoulders as it roared. The rush of air that ruffled their hair as the bullet zipped past, the heavy wet SPLAT of a rotting meatsack meeting its end. Five closed their eyes and tried to summon the feeling of a hot shower, or the sound of rain. Their headset was dead, the battery drained. No Radio Abel to calm their nerves. 

But that was fine. Five stared at the empty bowl between their hands. Today's porridge had been good. Probably. Well, they'd eaten it, anyway, and their stomach wasn't upset. That was good enough. They could get through without Radio Abel. It was fine. They could cope like a  _ normal person _ for once.

"Hey." 

Five jerked, then realized the speaker was Sam. They didn't know what to do, so just sort of... nodded. 

"Mind if I, um... join you? I know we haven't had much chance to actually get to know each other - I'm probably just the floating head that talks you through missions and stuff." He gave Five the cutest little sheepish smile, and they couldn't help but smile back, indicating the empty seat beside them. Five nodded again. It would be alright if he wanted to talk. They were pretty good at listening. 

_ The smell of damp stone and mold and decay, the chill of endless nights, the shuffle of rotting feet, the rattle of dead breath. Don't make a sound, or they'll find you. Don't move, or they'll hear you. Don't look, don't- _

Sam sat down, and the bench jolted slightly, brushing away the memory like a horse would sweep away flies with its tail. Five sucked in a breath and blinked to clear their vision. 

"Are you... alright?" There was such acute concern in Sam's face that Five didn't even think twice about answering. 

They signed one-handed.  _ Bad memory _ .

Sam stared for the space of a heartbeat. Two heartbeats. Then he signed in return.  _ I can help? _

For a second, neither of them moved. Shock held them still as they stared at one another, then Sam grinned. "I didn't know you knew BSL. If I'd known that, we could have started talking a long time ago."

_ How? _ From the disbelief on Five's face, it wasn't hard to read their meaning. They wanted to know how Sam learned BSL. It didn't seem like the sort of thing he would know. 

Sam shrugged, hands moving through the signs without hesitation. His grandma had been deaf from a young age, and he had loved her a lot. He'd learned so she could tell him stories, and after she died he kept practicing by tutoring kids at school that wanted to learn. 

Five grinned. They couldn't help it. This was the best thing to happen since... well, ever. 

They talked. Mostly Sam talked, and Five sometimes asked questions, but just listening to him get excited about the new game in the rec room, or hoping to raid a hobby store soon so they could get more dice and minis for the Dungeons and Darkness game he was part of - it was almost... normal. 

And zombies didn't come up even once. 

Lunches were nicer after that. There was more and more of a reason to finish work early, or come back from a run with extra goodies. Everything Sam touched was  _ better _ , somehow. He introduced them to new games, encouraged them to hang out with him and his friends, showed them the wonders of interesting new foods. Even the zombies didn't seem as bad.

Five was crossing the quad to go sparring with Sara (today was the day they would beat her, for sure!) when an unfamiliar hand, warm and soft and slightly sweaty, grabbed their arm. There was a moment of surprise and Five jumped, but knew that here, inside the fence, everything was safe. There was nothing here that would hurt them. 

They turned and saw Eugene grinning at them, his messy mop of carrot-orange hair and liberal dusting of freckles framing his bright eyes like living spectacles. His other hand was still tight on the crutch that kept him upright, but he was definitely not a threat. Not even remotely. 

There was no reason to be afraid. This was Eugene. He was familiar and safe in a way that maybe no one but Sam might have been. And safety was welcome, really. 

"Hey, you're the new Runner, right? What would you say about giving us an interview for Radio Abel?" His grin was wide, infectious, and welcoming. He really did want to know more about them and what they thought about Abel. Jack caught up to him with that pinched look that said 'please stop embarrassing yourself,' though Eugene definitely wasn't looking at him. 

"Do you ever listen to me? Dr. Myers said the new Runner is mute." 

"That's alright. We can take it slow - I can be gentle, no matter what you seem to think." Eugene spoke with that lofty tone that always meant he was teasing, and Five had to hide a smile behind their hand. It was just like listening to Radio Abel, only better, because they could see their faces. 

"No, 'Gene - the new Runner is  _ mute. _ " He put such emphasis on the word it almost didn't sound like a word anymore. Jack even made 'talking' motions with his hand, as if this might help communicate the problem to his cheerfully dense beloved. 

Eugene stared at his partner, then looked around at Five. "Oooooh. You mean  _ mute _ mute?" 

Five still had a hand over their mouth. It was extremely hard not to laugh, even if laughing was a rare and strange feeling these days. A distant, frightened part of them still insisted that laughing was noisy and noise was dangerous, but it was much easier to ignore that part than it used to be.

"Sorry." Eugene was still talking, his cheeks slightly pink with what might have been mistaken for embarrassment in another person. But this was 'Gene, and he didn't have enough operational brain cells to be embarrassed. "I didn't mean to make things awkward for you." 

Jack was shaking his head already. "You make  _ everything _ awkward, 'Gene. Listen, uh - Five, was it? Anyway, if you ever have a request for the show, swing by the shack, and we can work something out. Get you a notepad or something." 

Five nodded, but when they turned away, they had no intention of letting this chance pass them by. 

Less than five minutes later, Sam was stumbling along in the runner's wake, asking incomplete questions about what was going on, none of which were answered until they reached the radio shack. The door was locked, but there was no way that was going to stop Five. Tongue between their teeth, the runner jimmied the handle expertly as Sam looked on. 

"You can't just pick the lock and-" He hadn't even finished the sentence before the door was open. Jack looked around, confused, and pulled off his headphones as Five dragged Sam into the shack and began to sign. 

"An... interview?" asked Sam, puzzled. 

Jack's confusion evaporated, and as he kicked 'Gene under the desk, a grin spread across his face. "You're getting your interview after all." 

Five felt almost like the world was glowing with the warmth of spring sunshine. This was a good place. This was a safe place. This was... home. And they never wanted to leave it.


	3. Act 3 - Alone Again

The field outside the fence was empty. It was ragged and brown and dead-looking, and something tight and painful coiled in Five's chest as they looked out into the world beyond New Canton's well-patrolled, constantly-guarded perimeter. And just like there had been every time they'd looked since that terrible day, there was nothing alive out there. A lone zom shuffled through the grass more than a kilometre away, but that was it. 

"Runner 93, this is training period, not staring-off-into-the-distance period. Get your feet on and get moving!" The trainer was glaring at them now, and not for the first time. There was always something making him angry. With rather more anxiety than guilt, Five glanced around at the others (who were starting to catch up) and broke into a steady trot. There was something about being watched - no, not really the watching by itself. Sam had watched them, and it had been alright. 

Sam. 

Pain squeezed their lungs like an iron band, leeching warmth and comfort and what little composure they'd managed to scrape together. As their stride faltered and the world started to swim uncertainly before their eyes, the trainer's voice snapped out like a whip crack. 

"Runner 93, either finish your laps or get off my track. I won't have you tripping up my runners when you don't feel like putting the effort into learning how to work with our team." 

Lazy. Ineffective. Stupid. Uncooperative. Insubordinate. 

Five's mind filled with all those times, all those voices, all those days when who they were wasn't enough. 

_ Why can't you be more like the other girls?  _

_ Why can't you act like a normal person?  _

_ Why can't you just behave for once? _

Five barely heard the other runners shouting at the trainer. They just turned tail and pelted away from the training ground. Away from the fence. Away from everything. With hands shaking and heart pounding, the runner didn't even consider where they were going. They just had to get away. The headset was familiar and fit the way it should, but when the sound switched on... there was nothing but static. Fuzzy white noise. No music, no laughing voices. No Jack and Eugene. No Radio Abel. 

The pressure in their chest mounted, squeezing harder and harder until it felt like their heart would burst, their lungs popping like chestnuts in the fire. 

Then... a voice through the fuzz. It didn't come through clear enough to be distinguished, really, but there was no doubt in Five's mind - it was Jack. An old recording, struggling to play and replay and replay again from the smoking rubble of their home. 

Five yanked the headset off, throwing it violently away. With no sense of where they were or who might see, the runner crouched, tucking their body down between their knees and covering their head, barely able to breathe. Gone. 

Gone. 

They were all gone. 

And they had let it happen. They hadn't run fast enough or far enough and they had let them all die. 

"Hey." A warm hand clasped their shoulder and Five wanted to jerk violently away, but couldn't find the strength inside to make it happen. Instead they just kept their head down and tried desperately not to cry. 

The hand slipped around them and suddenly someone was hugging them from behind. "It can be so hard when your home isn't your home anymore. Isn't it funny how 'home' can mean 'the place where you belong and feel safe,' and 'the place where you live, even if you don't like it'? Okay, maybe not 'funny,' but it's interesting." 

The runner tried to block out the world by closing their eyes, but there was some sort of comfort in Archie's silly rambling. The older runner squeezed Five gently. "Why don't we go back to the kitchens in C block? I heard they were going to make tea and cake, and I think that makes just about any day better." Five let Archie help them up, but didn't immediately follow her to the kitchen. Instead, they turned to retrieve the headset. It was one of the few things that had come to New Canton with them. It was important. It had been from Sam's comms shack. 

Surprisingly, it had survived Five's panic just as well as it survived their missions. A little scratched up, but still in one piece and even still working. From the ear cups, Zoe Crick's voice floated up faintly, apparently reading tips from a list someone had given her.

"Listening to the radio is a good way to relax," said Archie approvingly, nodding her freckled head. Archie continued to chatter, something about what Phil and Zoe had been saying earlier in the day - Five wasn't really listening. The trip to the kitchen was a relatively short one, but they apparently had time to meander conversationally from Radio New Tomorrow to decorations in the dorms, to pets, and finally to costumes for children by the time they had reached their destination. 

New Canton wasn't a place Five could belong, really. It was just… a destination. One more stop on a run that would never end.


	4. Act 4 - Never Alone

They were sitting down to hot mugs of tea (teacups were a bit impractical anymore, though Archie mentioned she had one in her things if Five wanted to use it) when something changed. Between them on the table, Five's battered headset projected the radio for them, quiet enough that Five could pretend that it wasn't Phil and Zoe, but rather her old friends Jack and Eugene. If pretending was the only way to get through life anymore, then that was something they wanted to hold onto for now. It was about all they had, really.

But then the noise over the headset changed. It went fuzzy, staticky, faint, and then cleared up again, and Five knew that voice. They  _ knew _ that voice. Springing to their feet, the runner stared at the headset for a second, then took off at a dead sprint for the Communications Center, nearly across the entire New Canton campus from C Block.

When Five smashed through the door of the Comms Center, it was with the force of a charging rhinoceros, and Phil actually fell out of his chair with a shout of surprise. Five didn't have time for these idiots. Shoving past Zoe even as the woman yelped something that was probably insulting, they took a quick look at the buttons and knobs and switches and screens, and comprehended the basic layout in a trice. After that, it took only two mistakes and one very triumphant switch-flip to send  _ It's a Small World _ through the airwaves into every headset, radio, and surveillance receiver for everyone to hear.

"Oi!" Phil bawled from the floor, where his legs were tangled with his office chair and he couldn't seem to get up. "Don't you go mucking up our equipment! I spent  _ days _ setting that up!" Five ignored him. He'd always been a bit of an irritating nerd anyway. 

And through the monitor down to their left, where Phil was still trying to push himself up from the floor and demanding to know who this crazy goblin was that was wrecking their office, Five heard Eugene shout "IT'S FIVE!!!" over the music.

And things were sort of okay, because they were alive. It didn't matter that someone was dragging them away from the Comms Center to lock them up like a wild animal. Jack and Eugene were alive. That meant Sam and Simon and Janine and the rest were all okay. They had to be. 

Hours later, when Five was finally released (either because Citizen Koji thought Five had agreed not to go back to the Comms Center, or because he'd just lost patience with them) the runner of course went directly back to the Comms Center, signing "Abel" and "need to talk" as simply and broadly as they could. Of course, Phil just stared at them, brace awkwardly with his body shielding the control panel. 

"I thought they took the goblin away," he whispered to Zoe, who rolled her eyes so hard it was a wonder they didn't pop into the back of her skull like foam balls from a Nerf gun. 

"It's Runner Five - the Abel runner, remember? She came by-" Zoe faltered when Five glared at her and pointed aggressively to the old name tag on their shirt - it said 'Hello My Name Is NOT A GIRL.' "Um...  _ they _ came by a week ago." 

Phil still looked blank, so Zoe tried to explain further. "You know. Short, blond, mute, is one of the fastest and most reliable runners in the field? You wanted to interview h... them. But we couldn't, because we couldn't find anyone available to translate their BSL. Do you remember now?" 

"Ooooooh. That Runner Five." Phil frowned at Five, still trying to protect the equipment from them. "That doesn't give them the right to smash up our office, though, does it?" 

Frustrated and impatient, Five reached under Phil's arm and snagged a ratty notebook. Even though he shouted his protest, Five scribbled as quickly as they could. 

_ I want to talk to Abel. Jack and Eugene are alive. _

"Of course they're still alive." Phil sounded irritated, but he seemed to realize that this wasn't the right response to have. Turning a little pink, he looked away and ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry. I mean... they've been interrupting our broadcasts for a couple days now. I thought everyone knew." Five pointed again to the "I want to talk to Abel" part of their message, and Phil looked at his partner. Zoe shrugged, and it looked almost like her hundreds of freckles were crawling across her skin, doing The Wave like the crowd at a football game. 

"Write down what you want us to tell them, Five, and I'll make sure it happens." 

Maybe they weren't so bad after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for not being able to cover all of the wonderful headcanons in the original post. I wanted to get it actually finished, and honestly if I'd tried to fit it all in, then I would probably still be writing come Christmas.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! :)


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